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  • רינה להב

Nothing like a good spanky- English Version

Updated: Sep 14, 2023

"She was sitting on the black leather sofa, folding her legs and I her judge sitting at her feet on the cold floor, unresisting, looking down, not opening my mouth, waiting silently for her instructions. You pathetic she shoots in a cold and quiet voice, from today you are nameless, you are zero. I licked her legs and my whole body wake up - she whipped me, I did not let you ,and I on the cold floor eagerly waiting for her instructions. "

Games of humiliation, whipping and tying in the sexual space have been talked about a lot in recent years, most people who engage in activities find them fun, light-hearted, routine-breaking and exciting. These people fascinate me less.

I intrigued by the people who use these activities to heal their wounded souls. An injury, born as a result of trauma or the experience of humiliation and abuse in childhood. To me they are the real warriors. Those adult children, who chose to take the severe trauma and decided to deal with it. Our psyche recreates a lot of events from the past, this is her way of healing. We yearn to create in our present the exact same situation at hurt us, and evoke within us the same feelings and sensations from the painful past, but this time it will be better, different.

In the sexual space we will see people, who will stage a sexual theater, which will resonate with the original trauma - the humiliation and the pain. They have the option to lower the screen and stop the situation at any given moment, using a word of confidence. The "no" and the "enough" that he did not receive listening in childhood, in adulthood is heard and receives listening.

Spouses who participate in sexual mental theater have difficulty, sometimes taking the role given to them. It's hard sometimes to be in the degrading role, how can you whip a loved one? In sexual therapy we will understand that taking the role in the sexual space helps the recovery of the partner. Together we will understand the story of the trauma and look at the sexual space as a victory. We will understand that my role in the theater is first of all to listen, respect boundaries, and allow my partner a different experience to see and contain. The humiliating and whipping actor helps me in healing.

So let's start looking at sexual situations as defense mechanisms and we will not judge.

Or as Madonna says:

Like Hanky ​​Panky

Nothing like a good spanky

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